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Clean Jokes About Words and Puns

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— Puns, Language and Word Jokes —
Friday, December 19, 2014

Sage Advice

  • If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them on my knees.
  • When you’re finally holding all the cards, why does everyone else decide to play chess?
  • Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
  • It’s not hard to meet expenses ... they’re everywhere.
  • The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
  • If at first you do succeed, try not to look to astonished.
  • I tried to get a life once, but they were out of stock.
  • Living on Earth is expensive, but it does include a free trip around the sun.
  • Lead me not into temptation; I can find the way myself.
  • If your living on the edge, make sure your wearing your seatbelt.
  • There are two kinds of pedestrians...the quick and the dead.
  • The unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.
  • A closed mouth gathers no feet.

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