You Might Be A Nurse If...

• You avoid unhealthy looking people in the mall for fear that they’ll drop near you and you’ll have to do CPR on your day off.
• It doesn’t bother you to eat a candy bar with one hand while performing digital stimulation on your patient with the other hand.
• You’ve had a patient with a nose ring, a brow ring and twelve earrings say, "I’m afraid of shots."
• You’ve ever bet on someone’s blood alcohol level.
• You plan your next meal while performing gastric lavage.
• You believe every waiting room should have a Valium salt lick.
• You have your weekends off planned a year in advance.
• You have ever had a patient control his seizures when offered food.
• You know it’s a full moon without having to look at the sky.