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Today's Funny List

Monday, January 20, 2020

You Know You're Going to Need a New Lawyer When...

  • During your initial consultation he tries to sell you Amway.
  • He tells you that his last good case was a "Budweiser."
  • When the prosecutors see who your lawyer is, they high-five each other.
  • He picks the jury by playing "duck-duck-goose."
  • During the trial you catch him playing his Gameboy.
  • A prison guard is shaving your head.
  • Every couple of minutes he yells, "I call Jack Daniels to the stand!" and proceeds to drink a shot.
  • He places a large "No Refunds" sign on the defense table.
  • He begins closing arguments with, "As Ally McBeal once said..."
  • He keeps citing the legal case of Godzilla v. Mothra.
  • Just before trial starts he whispers, "The judge is the one with the little hammer, right?"
  • Just before he says "Your Honor," he makes those little quotation marks in the air with his fingers.
  • The sign in front of his law office reads "Practicing Law Since 2:25 PM."
  • Whenever his objection is overruled, he tells the judge, "Whatever."
  • He giggles every time he hears the word "briefs."

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