Jokes about animals!

Here is our daily, clean joke about animals. Whether you like jokes about pets, farm animals, zoo animals or others, you'll find them here. Check back daily to find funny, clean jokes about your favorite animals.

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Today's Joke About animals

Wednesday, June 19, 2019

Advice from Men to Women

  • Never buy a 'new' brand of beer because 'it was on sale.'
  • If we're in the backyard and the TV in the den is on, that doesn't mean we're not watching it.
  • Don't tell anyone we can't afford a new car. Tell them we don't want one.
  • Whenever possible please try to say whatever you have to say during commercials.
  • Please don't drive when you're not driving.
  • Don't feel compelled to tell us how all the people in your stories are related to one another: We're just nodding, waiting for the punch line.
  • The quarterback who just got pummeled isn't trying to be brave. He's just not crying. Big difference!
  • When the waiter asks if everything's okay, a simple 'Yes' is fine.
  • What do you mean, 'leering?' She's obstructing my view.
  • When I'm turning the wheel and the car is nosing onto the off ramp, saying 'Oh, this is our exit, Honey' is not really necessary.
  • When you're not around, I belch so loudly that I even appall myself.
  • The temperature in the cave will be my responsibility. It will be slightly to moderately cooler than you want it.
  • SportsCenter starts at 10:00 P.M. and runs one hour. This is an excellent time for you to pay bills, put laundry in the dryer, or talk to your sister.
  • If we see you in the morning and at night, why call us at work?
  • You probably don't want to know what we're thinking about.
  • It's in neither your interest nor ours to take the Cosmo quiz together!

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