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A Texan died and went to heaven.
Upon arrival, the Texan could do nothing but complain how much smaller things were in heaven than they were in Texas. After days of complaining, God went up to the Texan and said "follow me."
He took the Texan to the Gates of Hell and said: "Have you ever seen anything like that in Texas?"
The Texan, in total dismay, replied "Noooooooo...."
"But," the Texan continued, "I've got some friends in Houston who can put it out!"
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