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Today's Joke

In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed
through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on
consumer goods:

  1. On Sears hairdryer: "Do not use while sleeping".
    Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair
  2. On a bag of Fritos: "You could be winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside".
    Evidently, the shoplifter special.
  3. On a bar of Dial soap:"Directions: Use like regular soap."
    And that would be how...?
  4. On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestions: Defrost."
    But it's just a suggestion.
  5. On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom of box): "Do not turn upside down".
    Oops, too late!
  6. On Marks and Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating".
    As sure as night follows the day . . .
  7. On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body".
    But wouldn't this save even more time?
  8. On Boot's Children's Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication".
    We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.
  9. On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness"
    One would hope.
  10. On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only".
    As opposed to what?
  11. On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use".
    I gotta admit, I'm curious.
  12. On Sainsbury's peanuts: "Warning: Contains nuts".
  13. On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: open packet, eat nuts."
    Step 3: Fly another airline.
  14. On a child's Superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly"
    I guess we have parents to blame for this one!

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