Marriage - Before the Ceremony and After

Before: You take my breath away
After: I feel like I'm suffocating

Before: She says she loves the way I take control
After: She called me a controlling, manipulative egomaniac

Before: He makes me feel like a million dollars
After: If I had a dime for every clumsy thing he's done...

Before: We agree on everything!
After: Doesn't she have a mind of her own?

Before: Is that all you're having?
After: Maybe you should just have a salad, honey.

Before: Nothing is too good for you!
After: You spent *how* much??

Before: Ideal
After: Idle

Before: Candy hearts and flowers
After: Onion rings and antacid

Before: Time stood still
After: This relationship is going nowhere

Before: Croissant and cappuccino
After: Bagel and instant coffee

Before: Blind
After: Nearsighted