Jokes about animals!

Here is our daily, clean joke about animals. Whether you like jokes about pets, farm animals, zoo animals or others, you'll find them here. Check back daily to find funny, clean jokes about your favorite animals.

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Today's Joke About animals

Thursday, July 24, 2014

Sage Advice

  • If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them on my knees.
  • When you’re finally holding all the cards, why does everyone else decide to play chess?
  • Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
  • It’s not hard to meet expenses ... they’re everywhere.
  • The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
  • If at first you do succeed, try not to look to astonished.
  • I tried to get a life once, but they were out of stock.
  • Living on Earth is expensive, but it does include a free trip around the sun.
  • Lead me not into temptation; I can find the way myself.
  • If your living on the edge, make sure your wearing your seatbelt.
  • There are two kinds of pedestrians...the quick and the dead.
  • The unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.
  • A closed mouth gathers no feet.

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