Weighty Issue

If you answer "yes" to eight or more of the following questions, you may want to consider restricting your daily calorie intake:

• Has your neighborhood grocery store ever offered to send you a limo?
• After ordering lunch at a fast-food drive-through window, has it ever been delivered to your car on a hand truck?
• Within the last month, have you burned out more than two refrigerator bulbs?
• Do people often decide to follow you up on the next elevator?
• Has your fork ever suddenly come up missing?
• Have you ever broken out in a cold sweat when you realized you were more than a mile from the nearest fast-food restaurant?
• Is there a restraining order against you from the Association of All-You-Can-Eat Restaurants?
• On a recent Caribbean cruise, did the captain order you to stay in the center of the ship?
• Do your picnics in the country involve renting a trailer?
• Does the left side of your car seem to bottom out a lot?
• Does your street always seem to have more potholes than other streets?