Thoughts on Exercise

• I joined a health club last year, spent a lot of money on the membership, but haven't lost any weight. Apparently, you have to show up.
• If God meant us to touch our toes, he would have put them further up on our body.
• I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them
• If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country.
• I don't jog. It makes the ice jump right out of my glass.
• I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
• I have to exercise early in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing.