Top Ten U.N. Slogans

10. If an impotent, bloated, bureaucracy can't solve it, then it's best left festering.

9. You can't spell "unethical" without U.N.

8. Genocidial dictators, beware our non-binding resolutions.

7. Bringing peace to our world. (Actual results may vary.)

6. Tomorrow's corruption today.

5. Raising pointless squabbling to an art form.

4. We take bribes so you don't have to.

3. Try our world famous cheesy fries.

2. If troubles abound, we'll be nearby doing nothing.

1. If this is an emergency, hang up and dial America.