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Business Professionals Joke

Monday, February 20, 2017

Understanding Corporate Speak

Essentially complete: It's half done.

We predict: We hope to God!

Risk is high, but within acceptable ranges of risk: 100:1 odds, or with 10 times over budget using 10 times the people we said we'd employ.

Potential show stopper: The team has updated their resumes.

Serious but not insurmountable problems: It'll take a miracle

Basic agreement has been reached: They won't even talk to us.

Results are being quantified: We're massaging the numbers so they will agree with our conclusions.

Task force to review: Seven people who are incompetent at their regular jobs have been loaned to the project

Not well defined at this time: Nobody's even thought about it.

Still analyzing the requirements: See previous answer.

Not well understood: Now that we've thought about it, we don't want to think about it anymore.

Requires further analysis and management attention: Totally out of control!

Results are promising: Turned power on and no smoke detected -- this time...

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