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Business Professionals Joke
Monday, February 20, 2017
Understanding Corporate Speak
Essentially complete: It's half done.
We predict: We hope to God!
Risk is high, but within acceptable ranges of risk: 100:1 odds, or with 10 times over budget using 10 times the people we said we'd employ.
Potential show stopper: The team has updated their resumes.
Serious but not insurmountable problems: It'll take a miracle
Basic agreement has been reached: They won't even talk to us.
Results are being quantified: We're massaging the numbers so they will agree with our conclusions.
Task force to review: Seven people who are incompetent at their regular jobs have been loaned to the project
Not well defined at this time: Nobody's even thought about it.
Still analyzing the requirements: See previous answer.
Not well understood: Now that we've thought about it, we don't want to think about it anymore.
Requires further analysis and management attention: Totally out of control!
Results are promising: Turned power on and no smoke detected -- this time...
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